Lonely

“Men, I feel dead inside. Fuck them other guys. I know my mental health, can’t take it, I’ma fucking die.” “I feel I hurt all of my people just by being lost.”

My mental health sits on the ledge of the twin towers. Either I step off and live the rest of my life in peace, or I stay and live the rest of my life on fire and in pain.

Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social pain – a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections

Being lonely while having people surround you. Not having the type of company you long for. Unable to talk as to not upset those that are there, are they not good enough. How lonely should one allow themselves to become. Do you really want it. Can you make peace and live life knowing that this hole inside will only grow with time, and you will have to learn how to navigate around it better each time.

“Fire’s spreading all around my room. My world’s so bright. It’s hard to breathe, but that’s alright”

What if I don’t even know what it is I want anymore. Would it even be enough to get what I want, wen I have wanted for so long.

I guess not.

There is a point beyond, after which giving chase is no longer beneficial for any party involved.

I have reached that point. I am tired. I am lonely. I am lost.

I am not asking to be saved. I am not asking to be loved. I am not asking for anything. I am simply asking for a moment of your time. To be there with me. To sit with me. To be silent with me. To let me be me. To let me be.

“Can’t you see? I only want to slow dance in the dark.”

I am not asking for much. I am asking for everything. I am asking for you.